15 Things to NEVER Say to a Pregnant Woman

When should you ask a woman if she’s pregnant? Never! When is it appropriate to say, “Wow, you’re so big!”? Again, never! We’re always surprised by what people think is okay to say to a pregnant woman. 

To keep you from getting punched or making a grown woman cry, these are the top 15 things you should never say to a pregnant woman, ever!

“Was it planned?” 

It’s absolutely none of your business whether a pregnancy was planned or not. Honestly, it shouldn’t matter anyway. If she’s sharing the news with you, she’s happy and excited about being pregnant, and she just wants you to be happy with her. Questioning if she planned it is unnecessarily rude.

“You look like you're ready to pop!”

In what universe does a woman want to hear how big she looks? It doesn’t matter if she’s nine months and waddling. Keep your opinions on her size to yourself. Reminding her that she’s big isn’t good for anyone. Here are 12 more reasons not to say, “you’re about to pop.”.

“Are you sure there’s just one in there?”

Again, don’t talk about size. We don’t care if she looks big enough to carry triplets and she’s only six months along. Every woman is different and doesn’t need your opinion on her size.

 “You’re so small! Are you sure you’re pregnant?”

Just as women don’t want to hear how big they are, they don’t want to hear how small they are either. First-time moms especially can be worried about being too small and the baby being unhealthy. Just don’t make any comments about a pregnant woman’s belly.

 “Can I touch your belly?” 

Unless you’re a close relative or a close friend, this is awkward. You don’t go up to random acquaintances asking to give them a back rub, so don’t offer to touch her belly. It’s not community property. Here are ten more reasons not to ask to touch her belly.

 “You look tired/sick/swollen/miserable!” 

Not all pregnant women have the “glow.” In fact, pregnancy can be hard on many women and telling her that she looks like she’s struggling is about the worst thing you can do. Don’t point out her pain.

 “Get your sleep now because you’ll never sleep again.”

Please don’t try to scare a soon-to-be-mom with your “wisdom.” What you’re basically saying is “enjoy your life now because it’s about to be terrible” and no one wants to or needs to hear this. Plus, no expectant mom is completely clueless about her new life. She knows what’s coming, so let her enjoy herself as she wants.

 “Listen to my super traumatic birth story…”

No. Just no. Keep your super traumatic birth stories, newborn stories, and all of that negative information to yourself. Why would you want to panic an expectant mother? 

 “Get an epidural.” 

This falls under the traumatic birth story heading but should be mentioned on its own. Deciding on how to give birth is an extremely personal experience for every soon to be parents. It’s about what she wants and she should be allowed to choose the right route for her without your opinion. Don’t question her decision or make her feel guilty for choosing one way or another.

 “My sister/friend/aunt/niece did yoga her entire pregnancy and only gained 25 lbs.” 

Just as pregnant women don’t want to hear about your traumatic birth story, they don’t want to hear about some super mom who gained no weight, gave birth in five minutes, or felt little pain. You might know someone who had an amazing experience, but unless she asks for that information, keep it to yourself.

 “Three boys, poor you.” 

Keep your stereotypes to yourself. Whether she’s having her third boy, fourth girl, or seventh child, she doesn’t need your opinion on the gender of her child or how many she’s had.

 “You shouldn’t be drinking/eating that.”

Pregnant women know what they should and shouldn’t eat and drink. They have doctors who understand their needs and they have the intelligence to make their own decisions. Let her eat or drink whatever she wants. She’s an adult and can make her own choices.

 “You look too young/old to be a new mom.” 

Could you be any ruder? Whether the expectant woman looks young or old in your mind, it’s none of your business. Women age differently, so you might think she’s young when she’s really 35 or vice versa. Keep your opinions to yourself.

 “OMG! You’re still pregnant?”

Believe us, when a woman is pregnant she knows exactly how long she’s been pregnant down to the minute. She doesn’t need you to remind her how long 40 weeks lasts, particularly if she’s past her due date.

 “Are you sure you want to bring a child into this world?”

If you have an opinion on the state of overpopulation, the environment, violence, and general destruction, that’s great, but please keep those opinions to yourself. She’s already pregnant and she’s thought about all the consequences of her decision. She doesn’t need you to make her feel bad for her choices. 

Being pregnant is a wonderful time in a woman’s life. It’s something to be celebrated even with all the little aches and pains. Try to make it easier on all the soon-to-be-moms in your life by not judging and instead keeping it simple. We recommend sticking with, “Congratulations!” “You look great!” “How are you feeling?” Those phrases are always safe bets!